tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12164692463409060052024-02-08T14:10:01.995-05:00My Friendship With ChristThe musing of a recent Roman Catholic convert.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-44808635020439790432010-11-18T20:54:00.001-05:002010-11-18T20:54:25.244-05:00Life Is Worth LivingJust wanted to share a link. EWTN has released 24 hours of audio from Archbishop Fulton Sheen's 1950s radio show, Life Is Worth Living. It's MP3 format, so it should play in just about any audio program, or MP3 player. http://www.bishopsheen.excerptsofinri.com/Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-16368256908038445522010-11-18T11:02:00.000-05:002010-11-18T11:02:21.251-05:00So much to be thankful forFirst of all, I want to do a shameless plug for my good friends over at <a href="http://www.lectiodivina.biz/">Lectio Divina Catholic Books & Gifts</a> in Winchester, VA. They just recently relaunched their website, and it's much more dynamic, and they're working to get their entire inventory set up for ecommerce. I am very humbled to have been a part of this project, and it was a great chance to use my tech savvy talents to help glorify God. Please check them out, and give them your business. These are good people, and having their testimony and the resources of their store available to me helped me immensely in my conversion to Catholicism. <div><br />
</div><div>Yesterday we went for the ultrasound, and we saw our baby girl for the first time! Yes, I said "girl". The ultrasound tech was as close to 100% sure as she could be, but said to hang on the receipts just in case. </div><div><a name='more'></a>I am so excited about being a dad, but I'm also a bit scared. Which I guess is normal. My wife and I have made the decision that she's going to be a stay at home mom, and that comes with it's own set of worries, namely, how will we survive on one income. I'm hoping I'll be able to find a better paying job before Meghan arrives, but it's a tough market. Still, I believe God will provide. Whether it's a better salary, or a revelation how to stretch my current salary to the max, He'll take care of us. I know it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Though I still love St. Francis of Assisi and am glad I chose him as my confirmation saint, St. Joseph has become my secondary patron recently. Both as a worker, hoping he'll help guide me in providing for my family, but especially as a father. He was trusted to be the earthly father figure to Jesus Christ, so God obviously knew he could fulfill that role like no other. I found a miniature statue of Timothy P. Schmalz's <a href="http://www.marianland.com/tps/aquietmoment.html">"A Quiet Moment"</a> at the Catholic Outreach store a few weeks ago, and had to have it. Seeing the way Joseph lovingly cradles Mary and the child Jesus in his arms with the utmost care, and the look of serenity on his face makes me want to embrace this new role more than I can describe. </div><div><br />
</div><div>There is so much goodness in my life, I can't list it all. As we approach Thanksgiving here in the US, take a minute to stop and think about all the good things God has given you. And take a minute to say "thank you" to the Lord. I don't do it nearly as often as I should.</div><div><br />
</div><div>God bless you all, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!</div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-86819677871264348502010-10-11T07:38:00.000-05:002010-10-11T07:38:51.772-05:00Scriptural RosaryLately, I've taken to saying the full Rosary every day. I shoot for doing the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries every day - on Thursdays, or if I know I'll be able to set aside time, I add the Luminous Mysteries in as well. But one trouble I've always had with the Rosary was keeping focused - my mind tends to wander, and I wasn't mediating on these events in the life of Christ.<br />
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I found a really nice pocket Scriptural Rosary book, and that's done wonders. The selection of verses from scripture really help me stay on task, and some have been very moving. It only cost about $5 - if you have issues with your mind drifting, I highly recommend getting a similar book and keeping it with your Rosary!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-11323687986351781552010-10-07T11:44:00.001-05:002010-10-07T11:44:59.448-05:00The Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and the heartbeat of our babyIt's been a busy couple of weeks at our household - Sharon's been battling morning sickness off and on, but appears to be just about over the worst of it. I can tell from how tired she is that I'm definitely getting the much easier end of this baby making deal. I can only imagine what a toll growing another human being can take on the body.<br />
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I recently became a 3rd Degree Knight of Columbus. Of course, I'm forbidden from discussing the details of that initiation ceremony, but I'll say it's very interesting, and did a great job of reinforcing the order's virtues of charity, unity, and fraternity. I'm having a lot of fun with KofC so far, and I hope that as time goes by, I'll be able to be very active in my council.<br />
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I'm helping my friends at <a href="http://www.lectiodivina.biz/">Lectio Divina Catholic Books & Gifts</a> revamp their website to start selling online. It's been a fun and interesting adventure so far, and it's one of those things that started off with me saying "How hard can it be?" The answer is - not very, but there ARE some meticulous details you don't think about first. But, all that aside, we're hoping to have them ready to re-launch their website on November 1, and I think meeting that goal will be pretty easy. <br />
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Sharon and I got to hear our baby's heartbeat yesterday. It's an indescribable, humbling experience. I felt as though everything else in my life up until hearing that child's heartbeat was a meaningless distraction, and like I FINALLY know why God put me on this earth. He wants me to be a father. In about 6 weeks, we'll get to see our baby on an ultrasound, and I hate wishing my life away, but I hope those 6 weeks go by quick! <br />
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To all who read this - take a minute out of your lives, look at all the good things you have, and thank the Lord for it all. Take care, and God Bless!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-71402410248194742292010-09-23T09:18:00.000-05:002010-09-23T09:18:20.203-05:00So much, so soonI am a bit embarrassed by the fact that I haven't posted since May. So much has happened in my life, and I had really hoped to be more active on this blog. Sharing the good that has come with embracing Christ is important to me, and I feel a little guilty keeping it all to myself!<br />
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Sharon and I got married in June, on the 19th. It was a beautiful day - certainly the happiest thus far in my life. It was about as close to perfect as it could possibly be. I found myself wishing that my father & sister were still with us to share the day, but in a way it made me appreciate it more. My family hasn't been able to share many happy moments lately; it's been tragedy that's brought us together in recent years. Having everyone there to share the stare of my life with Sharon was fantastic. <br />
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We knew we wanted to start a family as soon as possible, and we didn't have to wait long - we found out in August that we're expecting. Our first child is due April 14th, and I am literally counting the days - 203 to go! Of course, that's still a long way off, and I'm praying for a safe pregnancy, and a healthy baby. So, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to ask anyone who reads this to do the same for me. <br />
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I can't describe how much I'm looking forward to being a dad. Every time I think about welcoming our child into the world, I get misty eyed. I go into what's currently our guest room, look around, and think about how I'm going to get it ready for the baby. I see baby clothes and toys and have to stop myself from going nuts and buying them all up. <br />
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I don't care if we have a boy or a girl - whatever God gives us is fine with me. But if I were a betting man, I'd say it's going to be a girl. I think that would be fun to have a daughter, and have tea parties and play Barbies with her. Of course, I'm not going to complain about having a son that I can roughhouse and play Transformers with, either. <br />
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But I do know that, boy or girl, it's my responsibility make sure this child has two parents that love him or her, and a Father in Heaven that loves them very dearly. They're going to know who Jesus Christ is at a very young age, and that He loves us so much that He died for us. And they're going to know that they need to love Him back, because that's all He really asks of us.<br />
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Yep... being a dad is going to be a fun, and challenging, I'm sure. Pray for me that I do a good job!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-2694342598145718262010-05-07T13:16:00.000-05:002010-05-07T13:16:10.959-05:00Embraced by the SpiritIt's been just over a month since I came into the Church, and I couldn't be happier with where I am at the moment. I've heard of "convert zeal", and I'm sure that's a part of reason I feel so happy, but I think it's evolving into something much deeper than that. There's just something about knowing you're exactly where God wants you to be - I definitely feel that at my parish. I've made so many great friendships through my involvement with the Catholic Church. The one I value most of all, however, is my friendship with Jesus Christ.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>I believe where I've fallen short in my previous encounters with Christianity was a huge gap between myself and Christ. And it certainly wasn't by His doing. See, I had always viewed Jesus as a deity, and it was hard to come to grips with the notion that He could possibly have any interest in me at a personal level. I justified that with the fact that my prayers often went unanswered - or so I thought, because I didn't get what I wanted.<br />
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But the Church has taught me that prayer is more than just telling the Lord what I want, and and expecting it. It's a conversation with God. It's not so much telling Him what I want, or even what I need, but more so how I feel. And the key part - which I was not doing until recently - is <b>listening</b> to Him. I have discovered, beyond the shadow of a doubt that if you listen, <b>God will speak to your heart</b>. Now, you might not necessarily get the answer you want, but believe me when I tell you that He does hear us.<br />
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I used to refuse to believe anything without proof. However, I've also learned that "proof" isn't always something that can be seen or heard. The first time I took Communion, I was overwhelmed by the True Presence of Christ. It nearly knocked me to my knees, and it was all I could do to get back to my pew, kneel, and thank Him for sharing his body and blood with us. I was a little disappointed that I haven't felt like that - at least not to that degree - each time I've taken communion since. But I did have a very similar experience this past Tuesday at Adoration. <br />
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I was deep in prayer, and at a point where I was in total silence, and my mind went totally blank. That's such a rare occurrence for me - it's hard to get my brain to shut down and shut up. But it did, and in that instant, I felt a warm embrace around me. All worries and and cares I had were gone for that brief moment, and I felt nothing but pure, unbridled joy. It only lasted a few seconds, but it had a profound effect on me - I was moved to tears. I realized that was Christ's love physically acting on me through the Holy Spirit. And that's not just my theory, or an idea. I know that's what it was. I can't explain how I know - I just do.<br />
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May God bless you all Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-43514848529567350062010-04-04T06:08:00.000-05:002010-04-04T06:08:31.792-05:00One of the happiest days of my lifeIt's hard to believe Easter Vigil has come and gone already. And I'm now a member of the Catholic Church. It's ironic - the first Catholic service I ever went too was Easter Vigil at Sacred Heart two years ago. If you would've told me then that two years later I'd be coming into the Church myself, I would've said you were crazy.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>But what the Lord had planned for me was much different than what I wanted for myself. And He and I fought over it - it took me quite a while before I finally submitted to His will. But I did... and here I am. And I feel better for it. It took me a while to realize that loving and following him didn't mean not thinking for myself. But it does mean that I don't necessarily have to understand everything. That's been my struggle with faith in the past. And I was determined not to fall into that trap this time around. Intellect is one of the greatest gifts God bestowed on men, but it's also one that's easily manipulated by the adversary to turn us against Him.<br />
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Anyway, my future mother-in-law was my sponsor. We all processed into the the church bearing candles in total darkness, and the service began. There were seven of us coming into the Church last night - one receiving baptism as well. Easter Vigil is such a beautiful service. The music, the multiple readings, the smell of the incense burning. It's just amazing.<br />
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Following the baptism, we all went up to receive confirmation. Father Ettner sealed me with oil on my forehead in the shape of the cross, called me by the name of my confirmation saint (St. Francis of Assisi, of course) and sealed me with the Holy Spirit. We then sat back down, and Father began the liturgy of the Mass.<br />
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Now, the thing with Easter is that from Holy Thursday evening until Easter Vigil, there can be no Mass - even for a funeral. The tabernacle is bearen, and let me tell you... it's chilling. If you ever doubt the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist, go to Good Friday service, and see what it feels like without Him truly present. So the Vigil is the first Mass since Holy Thursday, and is something to be excited about.<br />
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And with that, I received Communion for the first time. As Father was consecrating the host, I prayed that I would be able to truly appreciate this moment, and that it would be a life changing experience. But as I approached to receive, I realized... I have already had my life changing experience - this is just the exclamation point on it! I had a feeling that I can only describe as Christ smiling at me, proud that I "got it". And yes... I felt his true presence was over me as I received the Host. <br />
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So with that, the first leg of this journey ends. What's next? I don't know. I believe I might join the Knights of Columbus at some point in the not too distant future. I'd like to get involved with youth ministry as well, but that's probably a little further down the road. For now, I'm just going to keep the faith - He'll tell me what he wants me to do next, in His time. <br />
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Amen.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-90327576505545547662010-04-03T06:25:00.000-05:002010-04-03T06:25:40.796-05:00Today's the big day!Well, this is it. I want to say today my journey ends, and I reach my destination, but I know it's only beginning. I'm so excited about Easter Vigil, I can hardly contain myself. There are so many thoughts I want to express right now, but I just can't seem to get them out in words, so I'm just going to ask all who read this to pray for me, and all who are coming into the Church tonight. The adversary has been waging a full scale assault on the Church this Holy Week, and the faith of some has already been shaken. The good news is, it's a desperation act. He wouldn't go to these lengths if not for the fact that he know's he's already lost. He's just trying to take as many souls down with him in defeat as he can.<br />
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Bless you all in your journeys as well. Amen.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-10878169191713108922010-03-28T08:55:00.000-05:002010-03-28T08:55:12.055-05:00First confession follow-upI went to confession yesterday, and it really want's that bad. I found that I wasn't all that nervous,, but it was more like a feeling of intense anticipation that I really can't describe. I went during regular hours, and made the offer to everyone that came in after me to get in front of me, since it was my first time and I might take a while. One nice lady in her 60s said to take my time - she had converted when she was 19, and remembered the anxiety she had over her first confession, and that she'd be praying for me. <br />
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<a name='more'></a>So it was finally my turn. I brought a list with me, and I'm glad I did. I thought I was going to be confident and strong, but I could hear my voice cracking and shaking, and after a few things, my mind became a total blank. Father didn't seem to mind, and gave me some advice on how to avoid some of the specific sins I said I was still struggling with. He absolved me, gave me my penance, and that was that.<br />
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For me, there have been three major stumbling blocks in coming into the Catholic Church, making me question whether this was right for me. The first was Mary, and all the devotion shown to her. I'm not going to go into great detail, but the Blessed Mother herself addressed this concern for me in a way that I can't possibly argue with. The second was the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. An hour at Adoration solved that - He was definitely in that Host, and He gave me all the proof I needed. The third, of course, was confession.<br />
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Why should I have to confess my sins to a priest, I thought? What good could it possibly do? A LOT. Let me tell you, I had so many things that I've been carrying around on my conscience for years. No, I've never killed anyone, or anything like that. But for a lot of my adult life, I was a not-so-nice person. I like to think I'm a totally different person than I was 5 years ago, but in the back of my mind were all the bad things I did. No, I never killed anyone, or anything that extreme. But I definitely needed Christ's saving grace. <br />
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I can't tell you how good I did feel as I got up to walk out of that confessional. I felt like I had a wound on my soul that finally healed completely. It's like how football players sometimes get nagging injuries that won't go away- that's what it was like before. Now, I'm all healed up, and I feel good inside. I don't WANT to sin, but I know I'm human, and I will, and I'm looking forward to taking advantage of this great Sacrament again.<br />
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So, now I've got 6 days until Vigil. I really can't wait - I don't see how this can't possibly be one of the best days of my life.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-5525503061995998782010-03-27T05:47:00.000-05:002010-03-27T05:47:30.347-05:00First confessionToday comes a moment I've been simultaneously looking forward and dreading. I'm making my first confession this morning. Being a convert, I have to confess all my mortal sins going back to the age of reason (around 7 or 8). I just turned 31 yesterday, and have been a heathen the vast majority of my life. Soooo, that's a lot of sin to confess. <br />
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<a name='more'></a> I've been over several examinations of conscience, and I'm sure there are others who've been much worse than me, but I've still got quite a lot that weighs heavily on me, and I'm really looking forward to just getting it off my chest. I went to adoration before RCIA on Tuesday, and to be quite honest, I was terrified at the thought of confession. But I truly do feel that He sent the Holy Spirit to ease my fears. Now, I'm not so much afraid as I am just looking forward to getting beyond this milestone.<br />
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Easter Vigil is next Saturday, and I'm really looking forward to it. My future mother-in-law is going to be my sponsor, and most of my friends from my Bible Study group are planning on coming. It's good that the Lord has blessed me with so many positive people in my life this year. I love them all, and I'm eternally grateful for them. <br />
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So, pray that I make a good confession, and that I can go a whole week without committing any mortal sins!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-40505872672047791642010-02-13T07:34:00.000-05:002010-02-13T07:34:31.715-05:00Counting the days, counting my blessings2010 is going to be a truly landmark year for me. I'm getting married in June. I'm going to be confirmed and come into communion with the Church at Easter. It's amazing how those two things are so similar.<br />
<a name='more'></a>I absolutely can't wait to do either. I know that the Lord meant for me to meet my future bride, Sharon. She's a great girl with a nearly limitless supply of love and patience. She helps temper my heart and make me, too, try to be a more patient and understanding person. And she helped me to finally form a true, loving relationship with Jesus Christ, and make a sincere effort to understand Him, which has led me to where I am today. <br />
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Joining the Church is very much like marriage for me. I'm making a pledge to Christ to be a part of his body, and to help share His word, not just by my words, but by my actions. That's always been my problem with so many Christian sects - I don't believe the "by faith alone" doctrines. It's very selfish to take only Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, and ignore everything else He did and said during His time among us. Jesus shouldn't be just our Savior, or just a deity to us - He should be someone we truly admire, and pattern our lives after His teachings.<br />
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The Gospel is more than just the life story of Christ - it should be a life story for us all. Helping the poor and the sick, loving everyone, praying for those who hate us. That's what we should all aspire to be. Being like Jesus Christ is a very high mark that we're all going to miss - but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-26171167011736840172009-12-17T16:50:00.000-05:002009-12-17T16:50:29.551-05:00What a year this has been!Hello to whomever stumbles across this blog! It's been a while since I've posted. It's been a combination of several factors. Number one, I've been VERY busy with work, church, and family functions. Second, I thought I didn't really have anything significant to post, but I've been doing some thinking, and I realized I'm wrong - I've got lots of WONDERFUL news to share!<br />
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This is, of course, a wondeful time of the year. The Christmas season has always been something I've looked forward to, but I can honestly say this is the first time I've TRULY appreciated what it means, and that makes it even more excited about it. Now, I know that Jesus wasn't born on December 25th, and that we don't know the exact date. But that's an entirely moot point.<br />
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Christmas is about several things to me this year. First of all, it's about saying "yes" to God when he calls on us. The Blessed Virgin Mary shows us this. When the Lord called upon her to be the vessel of the new covenant, she said "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38). Now, we all have free will, and Mary could have said "no". But fortunately for us, she didn't. It makes so much sense to me that the Church honors and venerates Mary for the role she plays in our salvation. It all began with a simple yes or no... and Our Lady said "yes". <br />
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Second, it's about new beginnings. Humanity was on such a downward spiral when God decided it was time to redeem the world. Our loving and merciful Father gave us a clear cut path to salvation in His Son, Jesus Christ. I can only imagine what it was like to be alive at the time Christ was born into this world. To be one of the shepherds, being told of the birth of a child that was going to change everything. Can you even fathom how amazing that must have been? Well, here's the good news - you don't have to! It's happening now, and it's happening every day. Each day with Jesus is a new beginning. Each day, I know that when I feel like I can't endure any more, all I have to do is turn to Him, and ask for His help, and He will lift me up. I don't need to worry about what happened yesterday, or what will come tomorrow, because today, I walk with the Lord. <br />
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Finally, it's about true love. The love of Christ is easily the most powerful force in the universe. His love is so amazing, and there's no end to it. But I've FINALLY realized, it's great that He loves me, but I need to love him back! I need to love all my brothers and sisters, because that's what Christ wants. He doesn't need or want anything else. He wants me to not just TELL people that I love Him, but SHOW them as well. How can we do that? Well, lots of ways. Donate your time or money to a charity. Visit the sick or the elderly. Help someone less fortunate than yourself. Take time to listen to someone else's problems. Remember, "whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do unto me." That's become my mantra as of late. I want to do nothing but good for our Lord, and be a true ambassador of his Love. <br />
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So, in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter what day Jesus was born? No, it doesn't. All that matters is that he <i>was</i> born, he lived, he taught, he died for us, he rose from the dead, he's still with us, and he'd never, ever leave us. <br />
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Merry Christmas to all of you, and God bless!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-1559591306481854452009-11-05T21:41:00.000-05:002009-11-05T21:41:20.800-05:00The Fight For LifeUntil earlier this year, I had a very different world view than what I had today. I believed that a woman had the right to chose to do what she wished with her body, including abortion. I felt that me, being a man, had no place telling anyone else what they could and could not do. I said it's not a choice I'll ever have to make, so I turned a blind eye toward it, even though I knew it was wrong. And I <i>always </i>knew it was wrong.<br />
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It took losing someone very close to me by her own hand to make me realize that life is a precious gift from God, and we absolutely must not forsake it. Shortly thereafter, I had my moment of revelation and decided to finally give my life to the Lord. What could have pushed me away from God only served to bring me closer to Him.<br />
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Since then, fighting for the preservation of life - especially the unborn - has become my mission. As our nation races toward a health care bill that the majority of us don't even want, we're facing a moral quagmire. As it stands, the health care bill would provide at least SOME level of funding for abortion. I can't let this rest. I will not stand idly by and let my tax dollars fund murder. <br />
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If you value life, please visit write your congressional representatives and senators and tell them the current wording of the proposed health care bill is unacceptable. The <a href="http://www.usccb.org/action">USCCB</a> has a convenient form for you to do so. It only takes a few minutes, and time is running out.<br />
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A person is a person, no matter how small, and here's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfgq7WiHbh4">proof. </a><br />
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Good night, and God bless. Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-68873728681462962342009-10-25T06:36:00.001-05:002009-10-25T06:37:38.602-05:00Why the Catholic Church?<p>One question I’ve heard from friends – and pondered myself a couple of times – is now that I’ve finally found my faith in God, why convert to Catholicism?  Wouldn’t I be just as happy in a Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, or some other denomination of Christianity?  The simple answer is no, I wouldn’t.  </p> <p>I’ve been there before.  Granted, I haven’t tried<em> every</em> branch of Christianity out there,  But none of them quite range true with me.  I’d go to various churches, and never particularly enjoy it, no matter how much I tried.  And I’m not putting down any of those other branches, or anyone who follows them – they just didn’t work for me.</p> <p>Basically, I feel like my faith has been a huge jigsaw puzzle.  Trying to work in before, in these churches that follow only the Bible, I only had maybe a third of the pieces.  But with Catholicism being so deeply rooted in the traditions that Jesus Christ and his Apostles began when they founded the church, I feel like I have most of the pieces now.  The rest are being filled in by my own belief and relationship with God, and that’s growing stronger every week.</p> Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-58699655926280780232009-10-12T20:09:00.001-05:002009-10-13T05:41:20.415-05:00The moment God revealed himself to meI've been searching for God for years. I don't know how long. I had no doubt in the existence of God as a child, but as I got older, and realized the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus weren't real, I wondered if God and Jesus were also just constructs of my parents to keep me in line.<br />
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Neither of my parents were every particulary strong in faith. Mom, every now and then, would decide we needed to be "good Christians" and go, and she and I went to a small independent bible based church. Dad would go every now and then, but overall wasn't a fan. I had no real religious compass to follow. As I grew older and turned into a jaded teenager, I began to doubt the existence of God. When I hit my 20s, I was positive God didn't exist. I lived for myself today, rather than gambling that there was a Heaven.<br />
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I guess my story starts a little over a year ago, in my father's final days of his battle against cancer. Now, I can't say that my father was a particularly great human being. He drank, and there were times he could be wicked. But he was my dad, and I'll always love him. He finally accepted Christ when he got sick. I sat with dad a few days before he died. The cancer was doing a number of his mind, and he was doped up on morphine. He babbled on incoherently all morning. But there was a moment where he suddenly became lucid, and started speaking clearly. A chill ran down my spine as I realized he was speaking to my grandfather, who had passed away 20 years earlier, telling him he'd be there soon. And that moment, I knew there was something beyond this world, and I wanted to find my way to it.<br />
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It was almost another year before I found the next step on my journey. I had been going to Mass with my fiance for a month, and trying to learn more about the Catholic faith. I had no intention of converting, really. But I knew Sharon wanted to raise any children we had as Catholic, so I wanted to find out what it was about. I also started reading Catholicism for Dummies - a very good book whether you're exploring the Catholic faith, or a cradle Catholic who wants to learn more. <br />
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Anyway, I was in a period of trial and tribulation. My sister had just taken her life a few months before. I was planning a wedding. I was swamped at work, and felt like I was unfairly carrying the load for my entire department. I felt like I was being unfairly singled out and working harder than anyone else, and was getting nothing for it. I was on the verge of either a nervous breakdown, or a heart attack, it was just a matter of whether my mind or my heard gave out first. <br />
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But one Sunday morning before Mass, God spoke to me. I was reading Catholicism for Dummies, when I got to the section on sin. Of course, I knew all about the seven deadly sins, but their explanation of pride hit me like a ton of bricks. Pride isn't simply arrogance - which I admittedly am prone to. It's looking down on others for nothing being as smart/strong/whatever as you are. Guilty as charged. And also, it said that pride KEEPS US FROM ASKINGN OTHERS - EVEN GOD - FOR HELP. At that moment, the light came on. I realized that 90% of the stress in my life was MY fault, because I REFUSED to accept the Lord's help in my life. I didn't even HAVE to ask, He had been offering all along and I wouldn't take it.<br />
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It's like the story of the footprints on the beach. Except, there wasn't one set of footprints in my dream - there were two sets at all times, but one was clearly limping, and on the verge of collapsing under his own weight. But the Lord never gave up on me. He kept walking along with me, ready to catch me at the moment I was ready to finally set aside my foolish pride and ask for help.<br />
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The moment I realized all this, I got down on my knees and asked God to forgive me, and to please help me with all the stress in my life. And it was like a wave of love washed over me. I knew at the moment, my life was changed. God had sent me a very clear message, and for the first time in my life, I was ready to listen.<br />
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As if to drive the point home, the gospel reading at mass that morning was the disciples arguing amongst themselves over who was the greatest. And Jesus told them whoever desired to be first, would last among them all. And Father Ettner even touched on pride in his homily. God was making sure that the message stuck with me. There was absolutely no doubt that He was speaking to me, and I absolutely had to take the message to heart. <br />
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It's been over a month since that morning, and my quality of life has improved in an unbelievable way. I no longer worry and stress out at work. I'm much nicer to my co-workers, and have learned to take them coming to me for assistance as a complement, not a hinderance. And most importantly, I've learned to not be afraid or ashamed to ask God for help when I feel overwhelmed. Because with Him, all things are possible.<br />
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God speaks to us all. We just have to listen.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1216469246340906005.post-24343262340912432162009-10-10T16:31:00.002-05:002009-10-13T05:47:05.012-05:00Love for God is a gift, not a givenI was brought up in a non-denominational Bible based church, and it never felt right to me. I tried branching out by going to Methodist and Baptist services, but they never worked either. And the thing is, I really wanted it to. I loved the ideas behind Christianity, but my skeptical mind wouldn't allow me to fully accept Jesus Christ into my heart. But for some reason, it just didn't seem right to me. Church was a hollow experience - I place I went to Sunday mornings for an hour or so. I told myself I believed in God, but I really didn't. At least, not in the true sense, which I'll explain in more detail later.<br />
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A couple years ago, as my father was dying of cancer, I had a couple of life altering experiences that told me that there definitely is an afterlife, and God is very real. Now, my spiritual transformation didn't occur overnight, but that was when the seeds were sown. I still had no desire to go to church, but I wanted to figure things out for myself. I really wanted to believe, to have a realtionship with God.<br />
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My fiancee is a cradle Catholic, and had been wanting me to go to church with her on Sundays. I absolutely DREADED the idea of going to a Catholic Mass at first. I had been to an Easter Vigil once, and a midnight Christmas Mass before, and while I can appreciate what beautiful services they were, they're... different for an outsider to the Catholic faith. Now, being a non-denominational Christian, I had a LOT of preconceived notions about Catholicism. And the bulk of it was flat out wrong. We're friends with another couple that are pretty much our mirror images. Missy is also a cradle Catholic, and Jason is... I'm not sure what. He's not Catholic, yet I'd always see him making references to going to Mass with Missy on Sundays on his Facebook status. That's when I realized, that's part of being a good husband and partner, and if I wanted to be the same for Sharon, I needed to at least make an effort. So I began going to Mass with her every Sunday a few months ago.<br />
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The first couple of times I went, I felt like an outsider. I didn't know any of the hymns. I didn't know when to stand up, when to sit down, when to kneel. I didn't know any of the things the congregation recited other than the Lord's prayer, and even that threw me off because the priest stopped just short of the last couple of lines and continued to speak about peace. I was confused... but riveted. Father Lange was the Mass celebrant that day, and he really sucked me in by speaking on the Eucharist during his homily. I had never heard the concept. I was intrigued and wanted to learn more.<br />
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Missy recommended I read Catholicism for Dummies, and Sharon got me a copy, and it was a very interesting read to say the least. It started me on a path - I even decided to attend RCIA class which began in September so I could learn more. I had absolutely no intention of converting to Catholicsm, but I wanting to know more, and be supportive of Sharon in her faith.<br />
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About a month ago, I had what can only be described as a true religious experience. All those years I had searched for God fruitlessly, but when I least suspsected, He finally spoke to me. More accurately, He had always been speaking to me, I've only just now figured out how to<i> listen</i>. And at that moment, I knew I was finally on the right path. I've never felt more at home in any church than I do now. There's no doubt in my mind that I will be up there on Easter Vigil this year, renouncing Satan and all his works. I am truly grateful to Jesus Christ for the suffering He endured to pay for my sins. I finally can say that I love God more than life itself. The Holy Spirit now fills my heart and mind, and I'm<b> FREE!</b> Free from the burdens and worries and stress of every day life, because I've learned to truly trust in the Lord, and let Him do the heavy lifting. Because believing in God isn't simply believing He exists. It is having total trust in Him to help you at the lowest points in your life, and thanking Him for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you.<br />
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I've also learned that having a true, genuine love for the Lord isn't something you can force, and you can't teach it. You have to feel His love and presence for yourself. Until you do, you'll find yourself questioning Him. A couple years ago, I not only didn't belive in God, I outright denied His existence. I couldn't have been more wrong.<br />
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So,this blog is going to be the chronicle of my spiritual journey. Thanks for reading!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06054767611462010579noreply@blogger.com0